


Talk Your Way Out of This

by DawnsEternalLight



Category: Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: Bat Fam, Dick talks his way out of everything, DickBat era fanfic, Gen, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 04:03:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7344004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnsEternalLight/pseuds/DawnsEternalLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick is kidnapped and in order to protect his secret identity he's forced to wait on help to arrive. He decides to spend his time 'chatting' with his kidnappers. DickBat era fic/Pre New 52</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Your Way Out of This

“-because, really who cleans a gun with a dish towel?” Dick said finishing up a fifteen minute breakdown of all his captors weapons and what they were doing wrong. He was pretty sure he’d broken some kind of record for time spent complaining while being kidnaped, even Jason had nothing on this ramble.

“Do you ever shut up?” His current guard spun around to glare at him. Dick was almost certain the guards had changed at least three times due to his constant chatter and he was working on scaring off number four.  

Dick shrugged, the action hampered a little by his hands being bound behind him, but not enough that they wouldn’t know it was a shrug, “You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been asked that question.”

He’d been talking almost non-stop since he’d come to, tied up in some kind of shipping warehouse. There was little else for him to do, besides annoy his captors. It beat wallowing in self-pity over getting caught, or sitting in bored silence as he waited for Alfred to pay the ransom demand.

“Well shut it, or I’ll shut it for you,” the man growled before turning back to the screen he’d been watching.

Dick decided to listen, at least for now. He’d pushed his luck with this guy as far as he was able and he didn’t feel like taking a hit for his smart mouth. It was better to wallow while he waited for the shift change.

And wallow he did, after all he should have known better than to get himself kidnapped as Dick Grayson, he was Batman now. He was supposed to be the world’s greatest detective, so why had he let himself be so easy to grab? Answer: He hadn’t been paying attention. Worst of all, he’d let down his guard, had allowed himself to think he was invisible.

It made sense, as the guy who hadn’t put down roots in Gotham he wasn’t usually the biggest target. That prize went to Bruce or Tim. Unfortunately, Tim was gone, who knew where, on his mission to prove that Bruce was alive. And Bruce, well he was gone, and his copy, Tommy Elliot, was currently locked up and out of the public’s eye.

Damian, the next best choice had only just been introduced to society and was still unknown enough that most people looking to kidnap a Wayne wouldn’t even think of him yet. For that at least Dick was grateful. He hated the idea of anyone going after his little brother. If anything happened to him it was on Dick’s shoulders, and that was something he wasn’t sure he could live with.

It all boiled down to the fact that Dick was still getting used to being Batman. There was so much he was having to adjust to, he’d simply forgotten that living and being seen prominently in Gotham came with its own set of problems 

Dick tried the ropes tying his hands again and made little progress. He was quickly finding out that this was one of those knots that tightened as he tried to loosen it. Not that untying himself would amount to much, he was limited to what he could do to escape, he did have a secret identity to protect after all.

Did he really have another choice? There was no Batman to come for him, no Red Robin (or whatever Tim was calling himself these days) and Jason was the last person he wanted to see bust through those doors. His only other option was to wait for the ransom to get paid.

Unfortunately, the most likely scenario included Damian trying to save him on his own. Dick didn’t want that to happen, Damian was still too new to the role of Robin. Sure he was better trained than any of them had been at his age, but he was also rash and allowed his pride to rule his actions. His first impulse was to fight, and then think.

He couldn’t afford to wait any longer. He doubled his efforts on the knot. He could escape, and make it look real enough. He’d been a cop, and an acrobat, people wouldn’t question him if he stayed within those bounds, or at least that’s what he hoped.

One of the doors squeaked open and Dick’s head shot up, eyes locking on it. A man stepped inside and made his way to Dick’s current guard, “Hey, Mr. T, you need anything?”

“A break from this guy. You here to switch?” Mr. T sighed.

“If you’re taking orders, I could use a cheese burger, no onions, and large order of fries,” Dick called.

The other man shook his head, “Not happening.”

“Then why’d you ask?” Dick raised an eyebrow at him.

The man shrugged, “I dunno. I’m new to this.”

Mr. T punched him in his shoulder, “You didn’t ask him, so stop talking to him.”

“Also, never admit you’re new to kidnapping. That’s a big no if you want to be successful,” Dick added.

“Oh, right. Well the boss has done this loads of times, so,” he shrugged again.

Dick was starting to think it might be a good idea to wait on Damian. These thugs didn’t seem like they’d be too difficult to take down. He groaned inwardly at that thought, he had been caught by them after all, so what did that say about him?

“Frank! I told you to check on him, not tell him your life’s story, come on!” a second man came around the door and smacked ‘Frank’ in the head.

“Jim! Boss said no names!” Frank complained.

“Well you just used mine, so you blew that too. Close that door and let’s go.”

Dick decided then and there. These idiots deserved whatever beating they had coming from Damian. He was going to sit back and enjoy the show when it happened. Until then, why not mess with them a little?

“Both of you are idiots. You two stay here and watch him, I’m gonna go grab some food,” Mr. T didn’t wait for them to argue as he strolled out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“I guess it’s just you boys and me. I’d suggest keeping a careful eye on me if you want to keep your jobs,” Dick said.

Jim frowned, “Why would we need to do that? You’re in no position to get away.”

Dick grinned, “Before I moved back to Gotham I was a cop. The knots on these ropes? Child’s play for me.”

Frank looked from Dick to Jim, “Can he do that? Get out of the ropes?”

Jim crossed his arms, “Cop or no cop, I tied those myself. He’s not getting out.”

How wrong Jim was, Dick thought as he finally got the ropes loose enough to slip out of. He was just trying to decide when to prove the guy wrong when the roof above them exploded, raining debris down on everyone. Dick ducked his head and sighed, cue Damian, and just when he was going to really have fun with these guys.

When he looked back up he was surprised to see not Robin, but Batgirl swinging down into the room. No. There was no way it was Batgirl who was going to save him, no matter how great Steph was. She waved at him and swung right into Frank, sending him flying. Poor newbie kidnapper, he should have stuck to his day job.

The room’s door burst open and the rest of the goons who’d been in the building came running in, followed by a small shadow. Dick’s eyes widened, could that be Damian? What were Batgirl and Robin doing working together? How had they even teamed up, as far as he knew neither worked well with the other.

“Grayson, if you’d already untied yourself, why did you wait for me to get over here?”

Dick let the ropes fall and turned to face his brother, “I was in the middle of something when you and Batgirl came in, excuse me for not reading your mind.”

Damian shrugged, “Its fine, come on before we’re noticed.”

“Wait, what? You’re going the stealth rout? What did I miss?”

Damian rolled his eyes, “We are trying to get you out alive someone had to be the distraction.”

“And you decided not to take that role? How is that possible?” Dick asked.

Damian grit his teeth, “If you must know I lost a bet, now can we go?”

Dick grinned, “I have got to hear that story.”

Damian reached out and grabbed his arm, “Later, Grayson. Come on.”

If Dick had thought he was enjoying himself earlier, he was having a blast now. He wasn’t even sure why he’d been so worried about Damian, the kid was doing great. A part of him was sure Oracle was behind this whole ‘team up’ but he’d have to wait for Damian’s story to know for sure.

“Wipe that grin off your face, Grayson. Only you would enjoy being kidnapped,” Damian scowled.

“You’re not going to stay and help Batgirl?” Dick asked as he let his brother pull him around the chair and lead him out of the room.

Damian glanced over his shoulder at Steph who’d already taken down half the thugs, “She’s doing fine on her own, for once.”

They ran down the hallway before skidding to a stop at an intersection. The hall split off in two different directions, “Which way, Grayson?” Damian asked.

“I don’t know, I was unconscious when they brought me in.”

“Tt, what good is it bringing you then?” Damian gave him a half grin.

“Entertainment value?” Dick shrugged.

“That doesn’t amount to much,” Damian mumbled.

Instead of responding Dick tackled Damian to the ground, the boy shouting a, “Hey!” just as a bullet pierced the wall above them. Seconds earlier he’d noticed the door in the far hall open with an armed Mr. T entering.

“Always keep an eye on every exit, especially when quipping,” Dick directed, “It could save your life.”

Damian nodded as they got to their feet and took the opposite hallway at ta run, Damian tossing a batarang behind them that gave off a flash explosion. They were forced to stop at a locked door. Damian set to picking it while Dick turned to keep an eye on the hall behind them.

“Robin, you got that lock yet?” He asked as Mr. T appeared at the end of the hall, red faced and furious.

“Do not rush me, Grayson.”

“I’m not, but Mr. T is.”

“Mr. T?” Damian looked over his shoulder, “I see,” he turned back to the lock.

Dick was ready to take down the guy when all of a sudden the man’s eyes widened and he collapsed forward. Batgirl grinning behind him.

“What did I miss?” she asked.

Dick shrugged, “Nothing much. Thanks for the save there.”

“No problem. You got the door Robin?” Steph tilted sideways to look around Dick.

“Yep,” Damian answered, “Ready?”

“Beyond ready,” Dick said.

Damian raised an eyebrow at him, “I thought you were having fun being kidnapped.”

“It was fun while it lasted, only I really want to hear the story of how you two ended up together.”

"Robin didn’t tell you? It’s a great story,” Steph skipped over to him, linking and arm through his, “I’ll tell you on the way back.”


End file.
